MAY 19, 2013
Today would be the last day I couldsee my father. It might took another year for me to visit him again in the hospital.
Honestly, on my way to the hospital, my feet were trembling. I'm a little bit afraid to face the truth for he has been in the bed of sickness for more than a year. He had a terrible accident last year in Saudi Arabia where he was employed as a factory worker.
He has been hospitalized in Saudi Arabia from January 3, 2012. He has been in coma for almost a week and when he woke up he felt a terrible pain althroughout his body and after having a comprehensive physical therapy abroad, they realized that his nervous system was badly affected. His head was badly hurt causing my father to lie paralyzed. Doctors called his condition as quadriphlegia. It means that he can not move his body from his shoulder down to his feet.
I reported his condition to the Overseas Workers Welfare Administration. Sometime in mid-April, 2012, he came back in the country accompanied by his colleague, Edwin Umali Garcia. Edwin was among his fellows who took care of him while in a Saudi Arabian Hospital.
Unlike other meetings, this time, it was a sad meeting between me and my father. He has been inside an emergency ambulance on our way to our home to Cainta, Rizal. My father refused to go to the Philippine Orthopedic Center Hospital where I already made an early arrangement with a doctor who I met there when I was still in our hospital exposure some few years ago as a Second Year Novice (it was my third year in religious formation).
After almost two weeks of giving paliative care to my father, at home, we realized that his condition was not improving. From abroad, my father went home with a catheter and after almost two weeks, it was already draining brownish urine from my him. My father has been complaining a feverish feeling. My father was too tall for us, imagine, almost a six foot tall man who can not help himself. He was too heavy for us to turn him from time to time on his bed. Since it was still a vacation period, I was allowed by our congregation to visit him everyday. I was the one who clean my father, I wiped off clean his fecal and put on his diaper from time to time. I also drained his urine but I observed it has been getting worse. We did our best to take care of my father at home but our best to take care a paralyzed person was not enough. We realized that our best effort is the worst care that any hospital could provide to any patients who suffered the same condition.
Finally, upon my father's approval, we decided to admit my father to the Philippine Orthopedic Center. There, he was taken cared for almost a year. My mother could not take care my father 24 hours a day since my older sister, Ate Dory, is still in need of her attention. God has blessed us with people-- Ate Vilma, the other one, and Denmar, who took care of my father during his first stay in the hospital. They also have their family members admitted in the hospital. After knowing our condition-- the weakening of my already aged mother, my sick older sister and my younger sister who needed to work abroad, me who was undecided yet if I would continue my seminary formation--with that, they symphatized with us. I was abled to pursue my theological studies for another year. Every weekends, I visited my father. He was not improving but his condition did not worsen further. We were happy already with his stabilized condition.
After a year, we already had another dilemma. Those who were taking cared of my father were already leaving the hospital. "Magpapagaling na lang daw yung mga pasyente nila sa bahay." The hospital has already taught them how to take care of their patients. Besides, every patient dreams of going home and spent the rest of their lives with their family no matter how. My father also clammored for this. He asked us to bring him home, not only once but every week we visited him in the hospital. Until we gave up and asked his doctor to release him from the hospital, for him to go home.
We have been preparing for this. We knew from the beginning that it was a desperate decision. My father beg us, there was no one to took care of him, my mother can not go most of the time to the hospital... nothing was left but to took him home. I already decided to leave the seminary and promised myself to dedicateit in taking care of my father. We already, somehow, renovated our house, we constructed a second storey to provide an extra room where we can accomodate my father. In Cainta, Rizal, floods is very usual during rainy seasons that is why there was a need for a second storey construction while my father was in the hospital. With these good reasons, my father's doctor gave in, it was early April, 2013.
At home, after a month, my father was already suffering from a severe bedsore. Before the end of April, my father was already smelling like a decomposing dead. Ate Gina, our neighbor, helped my mother and Tita Cel. She has been taking cared of my father since he went home. She helped my mother and my aunt in turning my father every two hours and in cleaning him every morning which I used to do whenever I am at home.
One Monday morning, before April ended, I visited my father at home. My mother told me that my father's wound at his back was advancing so fast. It stenched. I identified it the moment I saw it, he had a bedsore. I have seen so much of this when I served at the Philippine Orthopedic Center wayback when I was a second year novice. I know how fatal it was.
I told my mother that we need to bring my father to the hospital right away. That afternoon, my auntie coordinated with the Cainta Municipal' Ambulance. They brought my father to our local hospital. The surgeon was kind enough to do an immediate operation. He cleaned my father's wound. I saw how the pulse of my father dropped, and how his limbs turned violet. He was on a crucial stage. Perhaps, if we did not came in time to the hospital, we might alredy lose our father.
My father was admitted after the operation. I was the first one who took care of him. The doctor told me to turn my father from side to side every two hours. With him for the night, my father had been so complaining too much about his miserable condition. I know how much unconfortable it was being faced on the one side of the bed for two hours. It could be back breaking painful, but I can't do anything about it, the doctor reminded me to ensure that he would follow his prescription. My father started to curse me. He had been shouting too loud and the whole hospital was already awaken by his endless complains. But, all of them remain patient to us.
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Just to alleviate his pain, I just turned my father every thirty minutes. When I turned his by 2:00 am, I found out that I need to clean. His fecals almost lready make his diapher burst. I grabbed a bottle of alcohol, a pack of tissues, a new set of diapher and started cleaning him. He has been complaining a lot that I had a hard time of doing what I supposed to do.
I ended sleepless that night. With so much a scold from my father. Well, this is how it works everytime I spend my time with him but I always remained so patient, anyway, he is my father.
The next day. When my mother arrived with my auntie to feed my father, I asked my aunt to go to the friend of Ate Gina. Ate Gina, before going to the hospital mentioned tha she has a friend, Cora by name, who used to take care of old people. We went to Cora right away, and luckily she agree to take care of my father. The next day, ate Cora packed with her things went with us to the hospital. With her, a new friendship arose between us. She, instantly, became a part of our small family.
Well, it didn't end just there. When we had our vacation from the congregation, I had a hard time in working with the benefits of my father. I almost daily went to the Department of Foreign Affairs only to find out that my father's paper which I submitted before through the DFAwas already already lost in OWWA-Saudi Arabia. I badly need to see a certain person in the DFA to ask her to resubmit my father's document. Sadly, I spent three attempts, or three days, just to see her personally. Her fellows told me that she'd been outside, she'd been not feeling well, not around, with the boss... every reason of her absence from her post was tried to be patched by these senseless and irritating reasons. But, obviously, I remained calm.
From the hospital from Cainta, just to go to the DFA, it would take me two hours just to reach their office at OUMWA, located in the old building of the DFA. Frankly she told me, "Marami nang case na ganyan akong hinawakan, pero wala pang nakakakuha ng claims." We already filed my father's paper since last year, October to be exact. She forwarded it last November 22, 2012. She should have told us this matter earlier so that we could pursue with my father's company who was so kind to help us. I kept myself calm. After taking a deep breath, I told another plan. This is the plan of my father's company-- they just asked us to submit the documents they needed: what they need are the hospital record of my father being authenticated by the Saudi Embassy.
To have my father's papers authenticated by the Saudi Embassy, the DFA is needed to coordinate with my father's paper. They agreed. But it means that-- I need to start from scratch.
The Cainta Hospital told us that we could already bring home my father. But instead, we decided to transfer him to the Philippine Orthopedic Hospital. I coordinated with the good doctor I met there, Dra. Garcia, to accomodate my father. It took us three days to have an ambulance and when we came there, the Charity ward where my father was about to be admitted was also jump-packed with the same case like my father have... most of the newly admitted patients were also suffering from bedsore.
After an almost a week of stay with the Cainta Hospital, since the Drug Store where we buy my father's medicines was a little bit far, my mother started to complain about her aching knees. There was a time when she made an errand thrice just to buy the medicines needed by my father. The doctor had been prescribing medications from time to time, and every time we need to buy those little by little prescriptions immediately for his or for the nurses' use. Because of this, her knees were swollen and very fatigued. She had a very hard time of walking to the point that she can not stand anymore and complained about her injured knees. I advised her to rest in our home instead of going with us to the hospital and she did stay. I told her to put some ice on it as her first aid, but she didn't believed my advice and she did not do it.
Time was running to short, my vacation was already expiring. I needed to finish working with my father's papers. I needed to get the previous medical records of my father from the Philippine Orthopedic Center which they generously gave to me. The second step was to authenticate the documents to the Department of Health which when I came to their office one unfortunate afternoon, there was a big blackout which hit the Luzon region. That was before the 2013 election.
After the DOH authentication, I needed to ask a professional translation to translate the document to Arabic language. Luckily, the Department of Foreign Affairs already have a staff who would do that for a minimal fee of Php300.00 per page. The entire documents almost have nine pages. The translator told me that it would took him two more days to finish translating it. It was Thursday, this would exclude Saturday and Sunday. The following Monday was an election day. He told me to come back by Tuesday afternoon.
I went back with my aunt on that Tuesday. In the OMWA office, I introduced my auntie to the good old fellow I met there whom I submitted the translated authenticated by the DOH papers. He gave us a referral for the authentication of the documents, he asked us to go to the new building of the DFA for the 'red ribbon,' it was already 3:00 in the afternoon. We need to return the papers to him that same afternoon.
We met another young lady, the good old fellow introduced us to her. She was also working on the papers of her father who had an accident abroad and died immediately. She went with us. We all rode a taxi, whe we reach the new DFA building, we see right-away the person refered by the good old man. We were assisted, and after half an hour, we find ourselves returning to the old DFA building. But the old man already left. His assistants, who were on-the-job training students accepted my submitted paper.
The next day was Wednesday, I was still doing some errands in our home. I got so much wounds from fixing my mother's curtain rods. I planned to bring my mother to the hospital to have her knees checked by a doctor when a call from the DFA's good old man rung our phone. I needed to go there immediately to pay for the Php 1,100.00 authentication fee by the Saudi Embassy. The good old man said to me to pick up the documents next week, but I won't be at Manila anymore so I delegate it to my aunt instead. The good old man agreed to give the documents to my aunt.
On the other hand, when I went to the DFA, my aunt went along with my mother to accompany her to a bone specialist, also in the Philippine Orthopedic Center. My aunt also had her knees checked. Both of them went to bone density x-ray. My mother's result was not that serious unlike my aunt's which we found out that she was already developing arthritis. The doctor gave them so much medicines to take. My mother was asked to take a rest and plus the ice therapy which she firstly refused. But , my aunt was adviced to see the doctor from time to time.
On Saturaday, I already prepared my things to the Eymard Formation Center. Most of my packed things were the things that I would be bringing along to the Cagayan de Oro where I will be having my pastoral exposure. The next day, Sunday, May 19, 2013, I visited my father.
Like what I have said earlier, my knees were really trembling. There was a heavy traffic and it took me two hours to reached him. Before heading to his ward, I went to Jollibee and bought his favorite Jolly-hotdog bun. I bought french fries for Ate Cora and an extra large softdrinks for me.
With these, before I reached the bed of my father, they aleady saw me from afar. My father was being towel bath by Ate Cora. We ate together. I told my father that I am about to leave for Cagayan de Oro. He looked into my eyes. I though he would refuse but he gave me his blessings instead. "One year lang naman... madali lang yon."
I told Ate Cora to take care my father. She promised me that she will do her best that both of them will wait for my return.
I don't have a crying or 'balat sibuyas' attitude so I don't cry. But I'm so happy. The blessing of my father and my mother are my inspiration to go further with my vocation. I always ask God to be with my parents. As their child, I know how important my presence to them would be. But instead, they offer me to God together with my family's brokeness-- all our trials, failures and longings. With my very beloved Blessed Virgin Mary as one of my mothers, I always ask her to always embrace my father for me, to console my mother for me and to be with my sick Ate Dory and my faraway little sister Ginalyn for me. I ask Saint Joseph, the guardian of Mary and Jesus to provide for us, specially now that I am gone for a long time.
Prayers are the only things that binds me with my family. I fully trust in God's providence. I see this not only as a challenge but a way of life which God is inviting me to live with... our family's suffering--starting with my older sister, Ate Dory, since her childhood; and now with my paralyzed father-- all of these have deepen faith and trust in the abundance of graces God has provided for us. I asked God to provide people to help us... in due time... He sent them to us. They shared my family's brokeness... they shared my struggling vocation... they shared the love of God which made us all hopeful and more loving... always in pain yet peaceful in the hands of God.
Seeing all of these responses of God, I felt blessed and being guided. I admit that I am afraid... but God never failed me from the beginning of my struggles where I almost gave up and when I almost lose everything. It gave me more reasons to let go and let God to do His will on me.
Truly, there is order in every chaos. I may not understand all these things right now, but me and my family will always remain trusting in the ways of God.
Jesus Christ in the Blessed Sacrament... we fully trust in you.
Br. Dennis DC. Marquez, SSS
